How to achieve your mission for 2013

Happy New Year

It is at about this time of year we think about New Year’s resolutions, new beginnings, and change.
So it is timely to do a seasonal announcement and think ahead for 2013 and what changes we want to bring into our lives, our businesses and ourselves.

I’ve been reading Bradley Wiggins’ book My Time which has reinforced in my mind my ideas about Managing Change and what it takes to achieve successful and sustainable change.

I’ve seen lots of celebrity challenges and talent competitions and they all seem to say something like “I’d do anything for …..” The idea is that they would be prepared to do something in the future in return for a guarantee of success.

It seems to me however that athletic success is often about what you are prepared to give-up, compromise, or sacrifice whether that is time, money, food, alcohol, friends or family. There is a price to be paid for the journey and the rewards only come after the sacrifice, the effort and the journey is complete.

For example: There is less gained by doing more exercise if you are not prepared to change a bad diet.

I believe that real change can only come when both approaches are taken.  “I’m prepared to sacrifice…” demands immediate action to abandon bad behaviours and restraining factors and “I would do anything for…” sets the ground for new behaviours and attitudes.

The challenge for Change Managers and Leaders must be to harness the skills, talent, drive, passion and enthusiasm of the person or people and direct that to a unifying and shared goal.

Motivation is the fuel for change, and a unifying and shared goal offers a direction, but we need signposts and milestones to keep us on course. Being clear about the sacrifices avoid U-turns or subversion and reminders of our commitment in terms of behaviours and milestones keeps us moving toward the goal.

So with the New Year almost upon us now is the time to be your own Change Agent and think about abandoning bad behaviours and restraining factors, and which new behaviours and attitudes to adopt. Then write down the signposts and milestones for your journey. Perhaps put them on the fridge door, or by the front door, maybe in your diary or your screen-saver.  Make the plan big, bold, and simple.

Most significantly make the destination something really worth 365 days effort!

Context is everything: Would you recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that 1,100 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by, and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace, and stopped for a few seconds, and then hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping, and continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried, but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally, the mother pushed hard, and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money, but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the most talented musicians in the world. He had just played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, on a violin worth $3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste, and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?" By: Josh Nonnenmoc

Do you suffer from Low Frustration Tolerance?

The Problem

People receive more helpful advice and information than ever before, in ever more clever, entertaining and effective ways about how to live longer, healthier, happier and more productive lives.  Yet we still have way too many people starting and continuing to behave in unhealthy, self-defeating, and sometimes even self-destructive ways, when faced with change. 

The Cause

People start and continue to behave in unhealthy, self-defeating ways because it serves a purpose. Behaviour of any kind is always goal-orientated.  Ideally, all our energy and effort would go toward reaching those goals we all have like living longer, healthier and happier lives, having good relationships with others, being successful at whatever we do, and having more control over our own destiny. But no one does that perfectly, or all the time.  Unfortunately, people often have "mistaken" goals that  get them off course. A very common mistaken goal is to try to temporarily withdraw from, or avoid unpleasant life events and get relief from the emotions that often go with them. So many unhealthy behaviours have that exact "mistaken" goal.

A large part of what gives rise to such "mistaken" goals, and purpose to unhealthy, self-defeating behaviour is that people generate a dysfunctional amount of emotion in the form of anger, anxiety, depression, shame, guilt, loneliness and even boredom.

Growing up people  are regularly told "you should be ashamed of yourself". No one likes being constantly reminded of what they do wrong. Generating a dysfunctional amount of emotion can impair peoples' readiness, willingness and ability to learn, and sabotage their performance. It can give purpose to unhealthy, self-defeating behaviour that only impairs such things even further.

People of all ages often don't do things they could to make their lives better because they generate   Low Frustration Tolerance for doing things they don't like.  Many underachieve because they suffer from Low Frustration Tolerance.

A dysfunctional amount of emotion causes people to react to life instead of respond to it. It makes them less response-ABLE.  It makes it harder for them to access and act on advice and information.

The Solution

Emotional management is considered the first and most important of all life skills people must master to be as functional as they can be. Teaching people of any age the simple but important life skills noted earlier can give them truly effective emotional management

Truly effective emotional management is often a missing ingredient in most wellness programs started by companies.  Much of what participants are taught ends up just being mere "band aid" approaches to the problem of generating a dysfunctional amount of emotion.

There are many ways to temporarily feel better. Some are healthy, many are not. Students and employees are sometimes taught some of the common healthy ways to temporarily make themselves feel better (i.e.Yoga, meditation, relaxation, biofeedback) or encouraged to vent.  However, there's a difference between temporarily feeling better and getting better.

Getting better means to reduce the overall frequency, intensity and duration of emotions like anger, anxiety, depression, etc. The only way to GET better is for people to change the way they think.

That's why it's much better for all concerned if people can learn to self-evaluate their own thoughts,

feelings and actions.  They can do so by asking some simple questions of themselves:

1)      What do I really want?  How do I really want to feel?

2)      How's it working for me to think, feel, say and do what I do now?

3)      Does the way I think or look at things allow me to feel the way I'd really like to?  Does what I think, feel, say and do allow me to get what I really want ?

4)      Does it make my life better or worse to think, feel, say and do what I do now?

5)      If I keep thinking what I do now, and looking at things the way I do, will it be easier or harder to feel the way I want to in the future?  If I keep thinking, feeling, saying and doing what I do now, will it be easier or harder to get what I really want in the future?

Acknowledgement to Ray Mathis, Adjunct Professor, St. Xavier University/International Renewal Institute

It’s what you don’t do that creates capacity for greatness

In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing and the next best thing is the wrong thing-the worst thing you can do is nothing.-Theodore Roosevelt

Richard G. Stieglitz recently argued that at the end of the day, only action produces results. Building relationships, developing others, and making decisions lead to more effective actions; but it is the actions of you and your team along with the outcomes they produce that will build your reputation as a great leader.

My own experience is that sometimes pausing to reflect, thinking before doing, planning before action or more specifically not taking action is sometimes the key to success. You can often remedy inaction with action, but you cannot do the opposite.

Great Leadership Action (and Non-Action)
1.    Choose action or inaction wisely. In the words of Kenny Rodgers.. Know when to hold’em, know when to fold ‘em.
2.    Make teamwork a priority, encourage challenge and consensus rather than simple compliance. Another favourite quote.. None of us is smarter than all of us!
3.    Up-front conversations are better than costly consequences and wasted time and effort. It’s possibly better to ask What if? than Why?
4.    Ask staff and customers if they understand you mission, vision, goals or intentions. If their answers are accurate, congratulate yourself. If they are not, improve your communications.
5.    Put your effort to support, reward, motivate and inspire the people who create and deliver the products, and they will put their passion into what is delivered to your customers.
6.    Encourage risk taking and learning. Push your people into the uncomfortable learning zone and coach them to higher levels of success as part of the quality process.
7.    Confirm alignment. Get team-members to confirm team goals and their roles toward expected outcomes and benefits.
8.    Get comfortable with silence. Silence can be the prelude to a big decision or decisive action. Use silence in your conversations as thinking and reflecting time.

My advice to leaders..
It’s what you do that makes you great, it’s what you don’t do that creates capacity for those actions. – Tim HJ Rogers

With acknowledgement to Richard G. Stieglitz for some of the ideas in this blog.