I am going to suggest some really negative thinking, but it’s because it is only when under pressure do we see our true selves and reveal to ourselves our hidden values, limits, bias and assumptions that we simply never bump up against when we are in our comfort zone.
We have all experienced depression; whether that it has been you, or you comforting someone else it pretty much certain that you will have heard something along the lines of “….not worth living for…” or something similar.
Simply saying “yeah sure it is” really doesn’t help much. You say it because it helps you and stops you falling into their pit of despair, but it doesn’t really help them (even though you want it to) because they are not listening to you. They are listening to the internal dialogue in their head.
So how do you change the self talk?
Well there are some Chinese torture and prisoner techniques which involved getting prisoners to write pro-Chinese propaganda. The interesting thing is that when you write something the voices in your head provide the narration. When the voices in year head say something you start to believe it. So ironically getting US to write pro-Chinese propaganda, actually started to brainwash then into believing it, not because the Chinese persuaded them it was true, but because the words flowed through their eyes, their brain, their hands and their pen. The words belonged to them!
OK, so brainwashing is interesting but possibly not the best intervention for someone feeling depression. However I liked the challenge “if life isn’t worth living for, have a go at writing a list of what is worth dying for” This but of reverse psychology breaks the emotional spiral by injecting some analytical thinking and it is interesting because it appears that like the “stall warning” on a plane, people sensing where this might lead pull back out of the dive.
It’s the opposite of “count your blessings” but potentially effective because most of us are critical thinkers, and it’s easier to engage black thinking when you are feeling down than to bounce around wearing a yellow hat of sunshine.
The point is that when you have an idea of what is worth dying for, you have a purpose. When you have clarity on that purpose, and you dedicate yourself to it, you have a pretty good reason to live. If it is something all-consuming and valuable to you and you are dedicated to it, your life will be rich in meaning and value.
This leads me to my second hypothesis. All too often I hear crap like “I’d to anything to be …..” [faster, fitter, thinner, successful, rich, happy] Add what ever you like here. This is a future promise, about a future condition over which you have no experience and nothing at stake (it’s in the future!)
This is bullshit.
A much more realistic test of someone’s resolve is “What are you prepared to give up….” [friends, family, alcohol, chocolate, reputation, money, health] Add what ever you like here. This is a real test of choice, hard choices. Real choices. This is concrete because these are things you know and value, you have experience and something is at stake.
I know someone’s resolve when they answer this.
It doesn’t guarantee success, but resolve is a critical starting point for change. Without it change will falter at the first temptation or distraction.
If you are a psychotherapist , psychologist or psychiatrist (ie qualified to give an opinion on this ) I would be very interested in your views. If you are a witch doctor, or homeopath your views will be interesting too, but they are less likely to change my mind.
USEFUK LINKS
http://atroche.org/post/61633164818/how-china-brainwashed-american-pows-using-a
http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/psp/106/6/912/
THE AUTHOR
Tim Rogers is an experienced Project and Change Leader. He is founder of www.ciChange.org and curator for www.TEDxStHelier.Com . He is Programme Manager for the commercialization of Jersey Harbours and Jersey Airport, and previously Operations Change and Sales Support for RBSI/NatWest, and Project Manager for the Incorporation of Jersey Post. He is also Commonwealth Triathlete and World Championships Rower with a passion for teaching and learning and is a Tutor/Mentor on the Chartered Management Institute courses. He is a Chartered Member of the British Computer Society, has an MBA (Management Consultancy) and is both a PRINCE2 and Change Management Practitioner.
Tim HJ Rogers
PRINCE2 - MBA (Consultancy) - APMG Change Practitioner
Http://www.timhjrogers.com | Twitter @timhjrogers | Skype @timhjrogers | Mobile: 07797762051
Curator TEDxStHelier (http://www. TEDxStHelier.com)
Founder ciChange (http://www. ciChange.org)
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