These are check-lists that I have developed from various sources, none is entirely original but I have found them useful and happy to share with others.
7 WAYS TO INFLUENCE
Do it…
1. Because you like me, and you’re like me
2. Do it to reciprocate, repay past or future debt or promise
3. Do it because everyone else is doing it
4. This offer is good for a limited time only
5. Do it to be consistent, with past, with values, with type
6. You can believe me, I’m an authority
7. Do it or else
7 WAYS TO AVOID INFLUENCE
No, because...
1. I like you, but I don’t like this proposal
2. Is this a favour? Are you looking for something in return?
3. Just because everyone else is doesn’t mean..
4. If I don’t have time to think, I don’t have time to buy
5. I need to think about what I want, and be consistent with that
6. If I were you I might, but I’m not you
7. Please explain the “or else” slowly so I fully understand
How to react to negative feedback (possibly bullying)
1. Ask for time to think - it should force a pause or moment of silence.
2. Think about what you want to happen - don’t fight back, think forward.
3. Get the bully to stop yelling - “Please speak more slowly, I’d like to understand” or (if on the phone) say nothing until they ask “Are you still there?”
4. What ever you do don’t explain - think forward, don’t justify, recriminate, excuse or offer explanation. They’re looking to exploit weaknesses (-) not strength (+)
5. Ask “what would you like me to do?”. If so challenged they will ask you for something more acceptable than what they want. This is your exit opportunity.
6. Don’t take criticism personally - attacks on your team, your work, your values, etc are not attacks on you. Although it is hard to resist “fight or flight”
7. Learn from criticism - if you wait 24 hrs before answering criticism it will demonstrate maturity, reasonableness and you may learn something!
CONTACT
If you are interested in any of the above and would like to contribute to the discussion by posting a comment, or meet with me to chat about your experiences and the issues and opportunities in your organization I would be delighted to meet and buy the coffee and croissants for an interesting conversation.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Tim Rogers is an AMPG Qualified Change Practitioner, a PRINCE2 Project Manager, with an MBA in Management Consultancy. Past projects have included the incorporation of Jersey Post Office, Operations Change and Sales Support for RBSI and NatWest and the integration and incorporation of Jersey Harbours and Airport. He is a tutor/lecturer for the Chartered Management Institute, a past curator for TEDx, Team manager for Jersey’s Triathlon Island Games Team and Performance Director for Jersey Rowing Club.
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