Sunday, 10 February 2019

Escaping the Drama Triangle to deliver change



I run a number of facilitation workshops for different organisations to help unblock the path to success

In many cases this isn’t about introducing new initiatives but actually just removing blockers.

What is interesting is the Drama Triangle that often provides a THEM and US story and why people are POWERLESS and NOTHING EVER CHANGES


1.     The Victim: The Victim's stance is "Poor me!" The Victim feels victimized, oppressed, helpless, hopeless, powerless, ashamed, and seems unable to make decisions, solve problems, take pleasure in life, or achieve insight. The Victim, if not being persecuted, will seek out a Persecutor and also a Rescuer who will save the day but also perpetuate the Victim's negative feelings.

2.     The Rescuer: The rescuer's line is "Let me help you." A classic enabler, the Rescuer feels guilty if they don't go to the rescue. Yet their rescuing has negative effects: It keeps the Victim dependent and gives the Victim permission to fail. The rewards derived from this rescue role are that the focus is taken off of the rescuer. When they focuses their energy on someone else, it enables them to ignore their own anxiety and issues. This rescue role is also pivotal because their actual primary interest is really an avoidance of their own problems disguised as concern for the victim’s needs.

3.     The Persecutor: (a.k.a. Villain) The Persecutor insists, "It's all your fault." The Persecutor is controlling, blaming, critical, oppressive, angry, authoritative, rigid, and superior.

It is really important to listen to the Drama Triangle and help people break-out. Once you have escaped the trap you have a new path. My role as facilitator is to help them blaze a new trail to examine people, process and technology to think about policy and practices, structure and culture to build a new set of circumstances.

As a former athlete and now coach I love the aim: We create the environment where success is inevitable, which is based on Lane4

I am also a fan of Team Sky “Rules of the Bus” which I adapted for the World Champs Rowing Squad to be Rule of the Boat

1.     We will respect each other and watch each other’s backs
2.     We will train hard but sensibly and responsibly to drive performance and avoid injury
3.     We will be honest, but fair with each other
4.     We will be on-time
5.     We will communicate openly and often
6.     We will put aside any personal preferences to make the boat go faster
7.     We will debrief after every race
8.     We will maintain a log of training and Personal Best milestones which we will be available for everyone in the team to see
9.     We will always wear team kit
10.  After every session every team-member will shake hands – ritual is important to trust
11.  We will respect the boat
12.  We will be professional when racing: We will respect our opponents and be magnanimous in victory and gracious in defeat.
13.  We will request any changes to be made to boat set-up the day before a race and not on race day
14.  These rules (and any that are added, amended or deleted) will be agreed and followed by us all.

I feel this approach to taking ownership and managing behaviours make a real difference


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