How to achieve your mission for 2013

Happy New Year

It is at about this time of year we think about New Year’s resolutions, new beginnings, and change.
So it is timely to do a seasonal announcement and think ahead for 2013 and what changes we want to bring into our lives, our businesses and ourselves.

I’ve been reading Bradley Wiggins’ book My Time which has reinforced in my mind my ideas about Managing Change and what it takes to achieve successful and sustainable change.

I’ve seen lots of celebrity challenges and talent competitions and they all seem to say something like “I’d do anything for …..” The idea is that they would be prepared to do something in the future in return for a guarantee of success.

It seems to me however that athletic success is often about what you are prepared to give-up, compromise, or sacrifice whether that is time, money, food, alcohol, friends or family. There is a price to be paid for the journey and the rewards only come after the sacrifice, the effort and the journey is complete.

For example: There is less gained by doing more exercise if you are not prepared to change a bad diet.

I believe that real change can only come when both approaches are taken.  “I’m prepared to sacrifice…” demands immediate action to abandon bad behaviours and restraining factors and “I would do anything for…” sets the ground for new behaviours and attitudes.

The challenge for Change Managers and Leaders must be to harness the skills, talent, drive, passion and enthusiasm of the person or people and direct that to a unifying and shared goal.

Motivation is the fuel for change, and a unifying and shared goal offers a direction, but we need signposts and milestones to keep us on course. Being clear about the sacrifices avoid U-turns or subversion and reminders of our commitment in terms of behaviours and milestones keeps us moving toward the goal.

So with the New Year almost upon us now is the time to be your own Change Agent and think about abandoning bad behaviours and restraining factors, and which new behaviours and attitudes to adopt. Then write down the signposts and milestones for your journey. Perhaps put them on the fridge door, or by the front door, maybe in your diary or your screen-saver.  Make the plan big, bold, and simple.

Most significantly make the destination something really worth 365 days effort!

Context is everything: Would you recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that 1,100 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by, and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace, and stopped for a few seconds, and then hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping, and continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried, but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally, the mother pushed hard, and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money, but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the most talented musicians in the world. He had just played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, on a violin worth $3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste, and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?" By: Josh Nonnenmoc

Do you suffer from Low Frustration Tolerance?

The Problem

People receive more helpful advice and information than ever before, in ever more clever, entertaining and effective ways about how to live longer, healthier, happier and more productive lives.  Yet we still have way too many people starting and continuing to behave in unhealthy, self-defeating, and sometimes even self-destructive ways, when faced with change. 

The Cause

People start and continue to behave in unhealthy, self-defeating ways because it serves a purpose. Behaviour of any kind is always goal-orientated.  Ideally, all our energy and effort would go toward reaching those goals we all have like living longer, healthier and happier lives, having good relationships with others, being successful at whatever we do, and having more control over our own destiny. But no one does that perfectly, or all the time.  Unfortunately, people often have "mistaken" goals that  get them off course. A very common mistaken goal is to try to temporarily withdraw from, or avoid unpleasant life events and get relief from the emotions that often go with them. So many unhealthy behaviours have that exact "mistaken" goal.

A large part of what gives rise to such "mistaken" goals, and purpose to unhealthy, self-defeating behaviour is that people generate a dysfunctional amount of emotion in the form of anger, anxiety, depression, shame, guilt, loneliness and even boredom.

Growing up people  are regularly told "you should be ashamed of yourself". No one likes being constantly reminded of what they do wrong. Generating a dysfunctional amount of emotion can impair peoples' readiness, willingness and ability to learn, and sabotage their performance. It can give purpose to unhealthy, self-defeating behaviour that only impairs such things even further.

People of all ages often don't do things they could to make their lives better because they generate   Low Frustration Tolerance for doing things they don't like.  Many underachieve because they suffer from Low Frustration Tolerance.

A dysfunctional amount of emotion causes people to react to life instead of respond to it. It makes them less response-ABLE.  It makes it harder for them to access and act on advice and information.

The Solution

Emotional management is considered the first and most important of all life skills people must master to be as functional as they can be. Teaching people of any age the simple but important life skills noted earlier can give them truly effective emotional management

Truly effective emotional management is often a missing ingredient in most wellness programs started by companies.  Much of what participants are taught ends up just being mere "band aid" approaches to the problem of generating a dysfunctional amount of emotion.

There are many ways to temporarily feel better. Some are healthy, many are not. Students and employees are sometimes taught some of the common healthy ways to temporarily make themselves feel better (i.e.Yoga, meditation, relaxation, biofeedback) or encouraged to vent.  However, there's a difference between temporarily feeling better and getting better.

Getting better means to reduce the overall frequency, intensity and duration of emotions like anger, anxiety, depression, etc. The only way to GET better is for people to change the way they think.

That's why it's much better for all concerned if people can learn to self-evaluate their own thoughts,

feelings and actions.  They can do so by asking some simple questions of themselves:

1)      What do I really want?  How do I really want to feel?

2)      How's it working for me to think, feel, say and do what I do now?

3)      Does the way I think or look at things allow me to feel the way I'd really like to?  Does what I think, feel, say and do allow me to get what I really want ?

4)      Does it make my life better or worse to think, feel, say and do what I do now?

5)      If I keep thinking what I do now, and looking at things the way I do, will it be easier or harder to feel the way I want to in the future?  If I keep thinking, feeling, saying and doing what I do now, will it be easier or harder to get what I really want in the future?

Acknowledgement to Ray Mathis, Adjunct Professor, St. Xavier University/International Renewal Institute

It’s what you don’t do that creates capacity for greatness

In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing and the next best thing is the wrong thing-the worst thing you can do is nothing.-Theodore Roosevelt

Richard G. Stieglitz recently argued that at the end of the day, only action produces results. Building relationships, developing others, and making decisions lead to more effective actions; but it is the actions of you and your team along with the outcomes they produce that will build your reputation as a great leader.

My own experience is that sometimes pausing to reflect, thinking before doing, planning before action or more specifically not taking action is sometimes the key to success. You can often remedy inaction with action, but you cannot do the opposite.

Great Leadership Action (and Non-Action)
1.    Choose action or inaction wisely. In the words of Kenny Rodgers.. Know when to hold’em, know when to fold ‘em.
2.    Make teamwork a priority, encourage challenge and consensus rather than simple compliance. Another favourite quote.. None of us is smarter than all of us!
3.    Up-front conversations are better than costly consequences and wasted time and effort. It’s possibly better to ask What if? than Why?
4.    Ask staff and customers if they understand you mission, vision, goals or intentions. If their answers are accurate, congratulate yourself. If they are not, improve your communications.
5.    Put your effort to support, reward, motivate and inspire the people who create and deliver the products, and they will put their passion into what is delivered to your customers.
6.    Encourage risk taking and learning. Push your people into the uncomfortable learning zone and coach them to higher levels of success as part of the quality process.
7.    Confirm alignment. Get team-members to confirm team goals and their roles toward expected outcomes and benefits.
8.    Get comfortable with silence. Silence can be the prelude to a big decision or decisive action. Use silence in your conversations as thinking and reflecting time.

My advice to leaders..
It’s what you do that makes you great, it’s what you don’t do that creates capacity for those actions. – Tim HJ Rogers

With acknowledgement to Richard G. Stieglitz for some of the ideas in this blog.

Is it important for you to be right?

I recently suggested in a blog is it better to be right than liked. Is the truth more important than popularity? Is performance more important than personality? In the interests of balance I’d like to explore the opposite argument.

Sometimes, at personal or professional level, we get involved in endless discussions where each one just wants one thing: be right!

These situations may have no limits as everyone sticks to his/her own vision, perception and opinion of the subject... and just doesn't listen. Gradually the volume levels rise, there is anger, tension, stress it becomes vital that everybody recognize THEY are right. This calls on our basic caveman instincts of fight or flight.

However engaging our conscious thought rather than our unconscious feeling should tell us that  these fights are futile. They are things you need to let go. This is not a battle to continue to exist!

Wanting to absolutely be right is having a stuck, stiff, smug posture. When you're responsible, when you're in charge, being right is secondary. The important thing is to get results, to learn, be flexible, be open and get closer to your goal ... Accepting that it's not important just being right.

Top tips if you find yourself in this situation
a)    Focus on the problem, not the person. Recognise that you need to eliminate the problem not annihilate the person!
b)    Separate facts from opinion. If they are facts you should be able to agree on these. The only areas for disagreement may be interpretations.
c)    Understand your feelings and their feelings and the causes behind these. Are they emotional, logical or changeable?  Seek to understand these.
d)    Focus on priorities not position. An ultimatum cannot be compromised and must result in win/lose but attention to needs and priorities may offer a win/win option.

I believe when two people always agree one of them may not be necessary. I believe there is value in debate and consultation, not least because change happens through people and you’ll not motivate change by telling people they are wrong! Better to have them collaborate and become a partner in the problem solving.

With acknowledgement to marc@autenticoach.com for  some of the above.

Do you prioritise personality or performance?

This will be controversial but is designed to prompt some discussion, so here goes..

Lord (Alan) Sugar said in The Apprentice  (22-Nov-12)  “..it would be a mistake to bring someone into the boardroom because of personality rather than performance..” If you are managing change in your organisation do you prioritise personality or performance?

When recruiting what priority do you put to relevant qualifications and experience compared to amenability? If I’m going under the knife I am prepared to trade a sunny personality for some surgical skill.  I am not sure when it would be wise to prioritise style over substance. Comedy springs to mind, because is more about connection than fact.

I think success comes from knowledge and experience, seeing the big picture as well as the small detail, and having honesty and integrity. Together these offer credibility and are the building blocks of trust which should be earned from performance rather than presentation.

Attitude is important. Formula 1 Frank Williams, and Apple’s Steve Jobs are examples, but attitude isn’t always a breeze to work with. How much do we sacrifice if we are charmed by personality?

There are some circumstances where it may be more important to be right, than liked. Chamberlin came back re-assured by Hitler, but it took Churchill’s less compromising approach to safeguard the country. Interestingly Churchill was accommodating of talent rather than flattery. Whilst he didn’t like Montgomery he had a deep respect for his intellect and integrity, although their banter suggested personal tensions. Montgomery said I don’t drink and I don’t smoke and I am 100% fit. Churchill replied I do drink and I do smoke and I am 200% fit!

If we don’t prioritise qualifications and experience we may end up with Prisons, Hospitals and Children’s Homes being run by celebrities, and we now know where that can lead!

The secret of planning, priorities and beer

One of Jersey's top CEOs and Change Leader has a jar of rocks on his desk. This story explains why, and his approach to managing change.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed.

‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things, your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions, and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else, the small stuff.

‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn.

Take care of the rocks first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled and said, ‘I’m glad you asked.’ The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.

How to get into the magic circle of change managers and leaders.

INTRODUCTION

There are many theories and models to communication and motivation. This document focuses on  Circles Of Influence and the approach and tools which can be used to overcome resistance to change.

PROBLEM

When it comes to the future, there are three kinds of people: those who let it happen, those who make it happen, and those who wonder what happened.   How do you effect organisational change when so few are in the make it happen category? Or potentially more are in the stop it happening group!

APPROACH

There is a prayer  Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.  In life, it is so easy to focus on our circle of concern –things that we cannot control. Proactive people, the other hand, keep their thoughts and actions within their circle of influence or the things they can control, and by doing so make a difference.

http://www.businesscolab.com/images/thjr_circlesofinfluence.GIF
The old adage its not what you know, but who you know is key to Circles Of Influence. Sometimes the best way to persuade Fred will be to ask Mary to talk to him, rather than to talk direct. Not because it isn’t better to talk face to face, but because trust is essential to communication and if Fred doesn’t know you, but does trust Mary then that may be the best route for dialogue. Recognising the key influencers and building a coalition with them can be key to communication and motivation.

http://www.businesscolab.com/images/thjr_newton.GIF

HAVE A MAP OR A PLAN

A map of all your stakeholders, who knows who, and their level of interest and influence will give you have a clear picture of communication and motivation. This provides a good base from which to plan your actions.

http://www.businesscolab.com/images/thjr_stakeholdermap.GIF

Success in managing change is not to turn everyone into evangelists but to move people one step along until you reach tipping point. When you have reached the tipping point then you have momentum and change can happen quite quickly. It is important to identify the key people who will bring their followers and tip the balance: Politicians do this all the time by focusing on key marginal groups or topics which they believe will swing consensus in their favour.

http://www.businesscolab.com/images/thjr_seesaw.GIF

NEXT STEPS

Eight Ways to Expand Your Circle of Influence…

1.    Don’t ask why, ask how – ask yourself the right questions in order to expand your circle of influence. How can I turn this situation around? How can I improve my relationships? How can I help and inspire the people around me?

2.    Believe, Achieve, Succeed - Believe in yourself even in the face of naysayers. In order to expand your circle the influence, you’ll have to be bulletproof to criticism. Most criticism is intended to hold you back - to maintain status quo. Don’t let negative criticism influence you. Instead hold your vision strong and concentrate on the desired end result.

3.    Turn off the news - Put yourself on a news diet because most news is intended to create and stimulate fears in order to increase ratings. The daily news focuses our attention on our circle of concern or those things that are outside our control.

4.    Increase your value through education – Read and educate yourself on the areas that you want to expand. If you want to improve your job situation, read books on your area or take classes. If you want to improve your business, get a mentor or visit a successful business owner.

5.    Fine tune your skills –In our lives, repetition is the mother of skill. Constantly work on mastering skills. For example, your marriage is something that we must constantly work on. Like a bank account, we must make positive daily deposits for a rich relationship.

6.    Turn problems into opportunities – Many times problems are blessing in disguise with hidden opportunities.

7.    Volunteer to help – Volunteering is a great way to provide a valuable service to other people. But it is also a great way to network with like minded individuals that is ripe with opportunities.

8.    Be upbeat and enthusiastic – Upbeat and enthusiastic people attract people and situations that expand their influence. It’s natural to want to be around someone with a magnetic personality. By becoming magnetic, you will attract the opportunities like a compass pointing north.

Acknowledgements: Sensei Tim Rosanelli - John M. Richardson, Jr. - Reinhold Niebuhr (1892 – 1971) – Stephen Covey

Going native. Is it good? Or a threat to success (for the consultant or the client)?

From a cultural perspective, a certain level of conformity with client culture at the outset is smart. In order to be accepted by the "tribe", wearing the "beads and feathers", and participating in a rain dance or two will likely result in a more receptive audience when it comes to affecting change.

There are two aspects to objectivity that are equally important: the consulting firm’s objectivity and the client's "perception of objectivity"  the balance between the two types of objectivity is the key. There are many consultants who follow the path laid in the fable of “the emperor’s new clothes” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Emperor%27s_New_Clothes) and simply tell the client what they want to hear. This may win friends and influence people, but is it right?

By “going native” you could to lose objectivity, and to start to identify too much with a company.  A key question is at what point after being immersed in a client organization does a consultant begin to lose objectivity, independence and effectiveness. Is it then they join the client organisation for a drink on a Friday night, go to the office party or start spending weekends or holidays together?

I believe there is a link between “going native” and Groupthink, when you start believing the voodoo. This occurs within groups of people, in which the desire for harmony overrides a realistic appraisal of issues. Group members try to minimize conflict and reach a consensus decision without critical evaluation of alternative ideas or viewpoints.

There are eight symptoms of groupthink:

1.       Illusion of invulnerability –Creates excessive optimism that encourages taking extreme risks.

2.       Collective rationalization – Members discount warnings and do not reconsider their assumptions.

3.       Belief in inherent morality – Members believe in the rightness of their cause and therefore ignore the ethical or moral consequences of their decisions.

4.       Stereotyped views of out-groups – Negative views of “enemy” make effective responses to conflict seem unnecessary.

5.       Direct pressure on dissenters – Members are under pressure not to express arguments against any of the group’s views.

6.       Self-censorship – Doubts and deviations from the perceived group consensus are not expressed.

7.       Illusion of unanimity – The majority view and judgments are assumed to be unanimous.

8.       Self-appointed ‘mindguards’ – Members protect the group and the leader from information that is problematic or contradictory to the group’s cohesiveness, view, and/or decisions.

Avoid “going native” by remembering If by Rudyard Kipling

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;

Where are you stuck?

With what models and perspective you define your environment, your situation?
Where are you blocked?
What makes you prisoner?

We grow and build our beliefs.
Thanks to them, in the past we have survived, we have achieved goals, we have succeeded.
From there we have built our opinions, our references, our logic. We have defined what we think, how we think, how we do things, what we should or should not do ...

Do these beliefs work for you today? Or is it time to review and renew them?

Which of your knowledge, skills and beliefs are still useful to you?
Which no longer help?
Which do you need to unlearn and forget? Which do you need to strengthen or initiate?

How to take away these rigidities that have grown on you and no longer serve you?
Would you accept getting rid of them?
Do you dare?


Acknowledgement marc@autenticoach.com, Skype MarcDcoach

Leave me alone - I know what I'm doing!

Kimi Raikkonen pulled no punches on Lotus team radio in Abu Dhabi F1 when he said “.. Just leave me alone I know what I'm doing ..”  http://bit.ly/RCadOu

How often are you focussed (or possibly expert)  in what you are doing and yet you get suggestions and distractions which take you from your path? The problem is that sometimes success is not about what you do, but how you do it. Allowing yourself to take time to talk and listen to people may be as important to your success as staying detached and focussed on the outcome.

In Kimi Raikkonen’s case he clearly felt that banter on the team radio was likely to impact rather than help the outcome, and for sure Lotus’ priority is to win races.

So how do you strike the balance between action and talk, thinking and communicating, delivering and sharing? Here are some ideas from my own experience.

Step 1 -Spend some quiet time alone thinking about the factors, outcome and key people to be involved. Be clear about your SMART Objective.

Step 2 - Prepare your own thoughts and invite relevant people to contribute their ideas. Having done Step1 you’ll already have some criteria against which to evaluate other people’s suggestions.

Step 3 -Share your proposals, combining your original thoughts and those contributions from others which have added value, and then invite people to final comment and/or sign-off

Step 4 –Finalise your proposal/project. Hopefully with consensus, but failing that note any dissent or follow-on actions or further work required. Don’t ride roughshod over difference, but don’t fail to complete your task because you are looking for unanimity.

I would be very interested in other people’s experiences and ideas.

Tim

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